I. Linguistic Foibles:
- "If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons."
- "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken."
- "After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board."
- "Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of."
- "Bargain basement upstairs. We exchange anything - bicycles, washing
machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?"
- "Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also."
- "Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome."
- And outside a new town hall to be opened by the Prince of Wales:
"The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after
being opened. Open tomorrow."
- Notice in health food shop window: "Closed due to illness."
- "We can repair anything. (Please knock hard, as the bell doesn't work)"
II. One-liners ... continue on the link ...